Formula and FAQs

Illustration of a butt passing wind next to a male doctor with a beard. Caption reads "Fart Around and Find Out"

Frequently Assed Questions:

This is stupid.

Correctamundo. Also, that’s not a question.

What is a carbon offset, and how are you actually purchasing them?

We’ll let the fine folks at Carbon Offset Guide answer the first part:

A carbon offset broadly refers to a reduction in GHG emissions – or an increase in carbon storage (e.g., through land restoration or the planting of trees) – that is used to compensate for emissions that occur elsewhere.

From a climate change perspective, the effects are the same if an organization: (a) ceases an emission-causing activity; or (b) enables an equivalent emission-reducing activity somewhere else in the world. Carbon offsets are intended to make it easier and more cost-effective for organizations to pursue the second option.

For purchasing, we’ve partnered with an organization called Cloverly, who have created a platform that calculates and neutralizes carbon emissions on a per-transaction basis. Cloverly connects to the carbon offset infrastructure and carbon credits on behalf of our customers. When you make a transaction, the designated amount for your offsets goes directly to Cloverly - click here for a list of projects they’re currently supporting.

Doesn’t this just make you an intermediary? Couldn’t I purchase carbon offsets directly without needing a stupid fart certificate?

Absolutely! In fact, we encourage you to do so - here are some great places to start: Terrapass, Carbonfund.org, The Conservation Fund, Cool Effect, and The Arbor Day Foundation. But none of these places are going to give you or your loved one an official Fartificate of Authenshitcity.

This is so cool and funny! What other things can I do to reduce or offset my carbon emissions?

Thanks a lot! There are SO MANY things you can do to reduce your carbon footprint, and not only are they super simple, they can even be fun! In fact, we’ve dedicated an entire page to showcasing a bunch of great ideas that you can check out right here.

I have a problem with your data sources and/or math.

Again, not a question. But we are always striving to work with the best information and calculations possible. If you see room for improvement, please get in touch with us!

My kids/grandkids/coworkers bought this for me but I don’t think that the climate emergency is real.

Unfortunately, climate change is happening no matter what you think, and we need everyone on board to solve this problem before it’s too late. And maybe stop and consider why you're arguing with a website that sells fart certificates, yeah?

Our Formula

In order to keep things simple and maximize our offset contributions, we start with the following basic assumptions:

The average person produces up to 1500mL worth of farts each day, via 10-20 separate “emissions”.
Up to 40% of each fart can contain greenhouse gas (about 3:1 Carbon Dioxide to Methane).
Methane is 85 times more potent than Carbon Dioxide.

So, 40% of 1500ML equals 600mL each day straight out of our butts. If we take ¼ of that (our methane at 150mL), and multiply it by 85 (our methane's Global Warming Potential), we get 12750mL. Add our remaining 450mL of CO2 and that’s the equivalent of 13200mL (or 13.2L) of CO2/SPD (per Sphincter per Day). Multiply 13.2L by 365 to get one year and we end up with 4818 Liters of gas (8.85kg or 19.5 lbs by weight - we use the conversion tools at Aqua-Calc for calculations). Whew. So far so good?

Here’s the thing - compared to your average road trip or leaf blower session, this still isn’t a lot of carbon emissions, relatively speaking, and let’s face it, you’re probably only going to do this once. So we take that year’s worth of fartmath and inflate it by 100 to cover an entire century of farts, which just happens to equal 1950 lbs (481800L or 884.58kg) of CO2. We round that up to an even 1000 kg to cover our certificate production and shipping, and listo, One Hundred Years of Fartitude.

We purchase carbon offsets units from our partner Cloverly - by purchasing one certificate, you not only offset a generously-calculated amount of passed gas, you also help offset the resources needed to administer this site and produce the certificates.